How to Enjoy an Active Sex Life During Menopause and After

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Every woman reacts differently to menopause. Some experience, pretty much, no negative effects and they barely notice that their body is going through the obligatory change. Others, however, experience a whole range of negative effects and symptoms and this often leads to a drop in quality of life.

One of the areas of life that are affected most commonly is the sex life. Namely, quite a large number of women notice a drop in libido, lack of desire for sex and additional problems that cause their sex life to suffer. Subsequently, this can lead to an overall drop in mood and even certain relationship issues.

The good news is that this does not have to happen.

What causes the problems?

Menopause is a change that a female body goes through at the end of the ‘fertile’ period which involves monthly production of the ovum and menstruations. During the fertile period, the female body releases a number of different types of hormones that are crucial for the production of the egg, but also for other purposes that have to do with sex.

For example, some of these hormones raise the libido and increase the desire for sexual intercourse. Also, some of these hormones stimulate the production of the natural lubricant in the vagina. In short, the body prepares itself for sex. In menopause, these hormones are produced in significantly lower levels in the female body, which can lead to a number of issues that can affect the sex life.


The most common problems

Lack of libido

The first common problem that some menopausal women experience is the drop in libido. In short, they experience a dramatic reduction in desire for sex. It has to do directly with the reduction in the production of certain hormones, but it can also be exacerbated by some of the other negative effects of menopause. For instance, some women gain weight and start feeling less attractive. Other women experience an overall lower mood and all of this can affect the desire for sex.

This is a problem that can be mitigated or even alleviated completely by a number of aids. First of all, it is important to communicate with the partner, explain them the issue and talk things out, in general. It might also be a good idea to dedicate more time to sex, prep the field, so to say. You can take baths with the partner or give each other erotic massages that might help you with getting in the mood. Even a drink or two might lower the inhibitions and lead to more sex.

Vaginal discomfort

A more noticeable and a more ‘physical’ negative effect that a menopause can have on the sex life of the woman is the vaginal discomfort. This is once again caused by a drop in hormone production which can lead to vaginal dryness, itching and even pain during sex. The lack of hormones reduces the production of natural lubricant in the vagina and it can lead to these issues.

Once again, there are a few things that can be done. There are medical creams and other topical solutions that can be used to stimulate the production of natural lubricant and also provide lubrication on their own. There are condoms which have more lubricant on them than the more traditional ones. There are also very useful wet lubricants, which are water-based and which can help greatly. It is very important that they are water-based because the oil-based lubricants can actually contribute to the discomfort, cause even stronger itching.

Problems with sleeping

You may think that one of the most common problems during age change, insomnia and other sleep disturbances, will have no effect on the sex life, but you would be mistaken. It is a fact that lack of sleep can cause all kinds of mood changes and even a drop in libido. And when you consider that a large percentage of women undergoing the change have troubles sleeping, it becomes obvious that this can be a big problem.

Luckily, there are a number of solutions for the sleep issues that can be caused by menopause and that can affect your sex life. For instance, a glass of warm milk before going to bed can be of great help. Lavender oil and valerian are also natural ways to promote sleepiness. In addition to this, you should remove most, if not all, electronic devices from the bedroom, TV included. This will both help you sleep and concentrate on some other bedroom activities, if you catch our drift.

Closing word

The biggest mistake you can make is to give up on sex because of the menopause. There is absolutely no reason why you should do that. All of the problems can be solved and a huge number of women say that they are having the best sex of their lives in and after their menopause. Most couples have, by that time, seen their children off to their independent lives and this is the right moment to rediscover intimacy and sexual freedom.


jamesburbankAbout the Author:  James Burbank is a marketing professional whose work has taken him all over the world. He is currently on hiatus and he blogs about his passions – healthy living, interior design and marketing. You can find him on Twitter (

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